Aha! You get a blog post early this week! And maybe, just maybe, I’ll have another post for you on Wednesday… I’m still way behind but I’m determined to catch up. Soon.
Part of the 52 Week Writing Challenge. Click here to view all questions.
21. An interview with your villain (See ‘Hot Seating’ for ideas or create your own)
How old are you/when were you born?
Now, wouldn’t you like to know?
Where were you born?
As you can probably tell from my accent, manner of dress and complexion, I am from Hilt, born and raised. I’m not at all certain what might lead you to conclude otherwise.
What’s your favourite food?
I am rather fond of almond biscuits, accompanied by a hot tea and lemon.
Are you allergic to anything?
Allergic? What does that mean? No. I am not allergic to anything, other than fire and blind stupidity.
Cats or dogs (preference)?
I have no interest in animals. I certainly do not harbour any sort of affection for them. If anything, I would say I actively disliked them.
What has been the best day of your life so far?
That day — which I have been working towards for so long– is soon to come. I would hate to spoil the surprise…
And the worst?
The day I became an orphan, but it is rapidly shaping up to be today if you insist on asking such impertinent questions.
Do you have any habits you’re ashamed of?
What would make you kill someone?
Killing is messy and a sure-fire way to scupper your own plans; there are other ways to remove people from the political chessboard. I find it best to avoid murder unless I am presented with no other choice, or success is one-hundred percent guaranteed.
Have you ever smoked/taken drugs?
What would you do if I poked you in the eye right now?
I would remember it… and you would regret it.
Would you ever wear trainers without socks?
Judging by the disparaging tone of this question, I would presume this to be a rather uncouth manner of dress. I must therefore decline.
Who is your best friend?
I am best friends with everyone… and no one at all.
Where did you and your best friend meet?
Such tiresome questions…
Will you wear this pink dress?
Who is your favourite superhero?
Heroes? Heroes are fools. Aspiring to embody anyone other than yourself will lead only to bitter disappointment and inevitable failure.
What are you most afraid of?
I fear nothing. Given my past, one might be forgiven for assuming I fear fire, but on the contrary, I deliberately seek it out. Nothing is more cathartic than facing down the very thing that failed to kill you.
Are you romantic?
No. I’ve no need of it. My good looks and persuasive charm are all I need to lure a woman into bed, should I wish to. Which is not often. Some women, particularly those of a lower class, can be so forward…
Do you bite sellotape or cut it with scissors?
What is sellotape? It seems weak enough. I would bite it.
How often do you clean your teeth a day?
I scrub them meticulously with some warm water and a sponge after every meal.
Do you pick your nose?
Goodness, no. How disgusting.
If you could have one job, what would it be?
I am perfectly content within my current position as legate to this moral cesspit of a town.
Would you swim with sharks?
Would you go into space?
Don’t be ridiculous.
You sneeze into your hand in public and don’t have a tissue. What do you do?
I would use my handkerchief. What is a tissue?
Your mother/brother/sister falls over. What do you do?
I’ve already told you that I have no family. Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?
Do you dunk biscuits in your tea?
Sometimes, if it takes my fancy.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Only fools would believe in something so trite.
Have you ever stolen anything?
Documents. Money. Secrets. Lives…